How Watching 50 Shades of Grey Took My Yoga Practice to the Next Level

How Watching 50 Shades of Grey Took My Yoga Practice to the Next Level.

Last night, my hubby went to bed early and it was the opportune moment to finally watch a Rom Com.

It’s been years since I read 50 Shades of Grey and saw the movie. There it was, at the top of the DVR menu, begging me to watch it again. So I went ahead and pressed play.

Rather quickly, one particular scene really struck a chord with me.

It was a message that I’ve been told many times, that I often teach, but I still find myself having to work on it.

Christian takes Ana into his “red room of pain” for the first time. In that moment she’s scared shitless while facing away from him. He tells her to hold out her hand and smacks it with a crop.

He asks “Did that hurt?” and she responds with a “No.”

He proceeds with “Most of the fear is in your head.”

My ears perked up. This is a lesson I teach ALL. OF. THE. TIME.

He continues to tell her something along the lines of “Letting go of control leads to pleasure.”

THAT also struck a chord. In the moment that he’s talking about getting freaky-deaky, I’m thinking…this is a lesson that I know well and that I’ve continued to work on.

I’ve been telling myself mantra after mantra on this very same topic for years now:

• Let go.
• Balance effort with ease.
• Just surrender.
• A flower doesn’t try to bloom, it just blooms.
• Play, have fun – what’s the worst that can happen?

All of these mantras have been provided by great thought leaders and can be summed up to “let go of the control silly human.”  

When we let go of the mental chains of control, our body can move freely and be in its most natural state. This is true whether we are having sex* or working on handstands.

Christian encourages Ana to be submissive and completely let go of her control because, in doing so, she will find the highest level of pleasure her body is capable of. If she continues to try to control what is happening, her natural senses will be dulled by mental distraction. For example, she wouldn’t feel the full sensation of the feather he runs along her skin if she isn’t fully present in that moment. In order to get the highest sensations, she has to trust and let go.

If you can image what a feather would feel like along your skin in your most relaxed state, you can probably imagine the climax that would be achieved in such a state… maybe why this book was a bestseller. (Pssst, you can also improve that climax by strengthen your pelvic floor, click here to read up ladies). 

The similar concept in body movement is called “flow state” by sports physiologists and “movement meditation” by the yogis. Whatever you want to call it, if the athlete is trying so hard to control a situation or way they move their body, the natural state of the body will be restricted.

If we observe our own bodies close enough, we can read our body language to understand what our brain is doing. For example, while I’m practicing yoga, I’ll catch myself clenching my jaw 85% of the time. This body language is an indicator that my brain is trying really hard to control the situation. I’ll also sometimes feel like cannot fully relax a muscle in savasanna, another indicator of my mind not fully letting go.

As it turns out, like Christian was suggesting, I’m limiting my body’s capabilities by trying to have some level of control.

We already know that our flexibility is contingent on our fascial issue. If you haven’t heard about fascial tissue, you can brush up on it here. A large degree of our flexibility is tied into the mind. The fascial tissue has ten times more sensory nerve endings than muscles. Therefore, If the mind is worried, stressed or trying too hard, it appears in the body. I see this all the time in my own clients.

This was confirmed at the last conference I attended. A study was done by evaluating the differences between one group that did only stretching and one that did only meditation for a period of time. It turns out the meditation group was more flexible in the end.

With these “letting go of control” connections swirling in my head… and Christian getting busy on my TV… I started to re-evaluate my yoga practice.

I think back to last month when I was forward folding over one leg and the yoga instructor gave me a beautiful assist. While my nose is usually about a foot from my knee, she somehow folded me almost in half. So why does my body not usually find itself there, but it does when she assists me? Could I actually go there if I let go and trust that I can?

Then, I remember another yoga class I was in last week when a student asked the teacher for any tips to “jump” from down dog into crow pose. I was super stoked to hear what she had to say because I love a great teacher tip. The teacher’s response: your mind.

Most people would think, what the f* kind of a cop-out answer is that, give me a real tip lady. But I happen to know this teacher has been in the game for a loooong time. She’s kind of a big deal Pilates instructor and an insane yogi.  She knew the student was strong enough to “float” her feet to her hands. Therefore, she knew the only thing limiting the student was the fear. The mind creating the fear. The same thing Christian says in the movie.

While the movie kept running, my mind was off on this tangent of how I must be holding some kind of control subconsciously in my mind while I’m practicing. I start thinking that maybe I need to trust my body more, let go of any fear and control I may be trying to have over my body and just let it flow.

Let’s fast forward to my practice this morning. While the teacher cues us to set our intention for the day, all I can think about is 50 Shades of Grey and the scene where he tells her to let go of control.

While I usually choose one of the kinder mantras for an intention, I instead said to myself, “Ok Adrianne, stop being a control freak!”

How’s that for a mantra? Doesn’t roll off the tongue as sweetly as the others but, guess what, it worked!

In class I hit about eight out of ten handstands in my flow without using the wall for assist. I also found myself kissing my knees in my forward fold. Yes, that’s right, I practically folded in half without the assist.

I mentioned before, my forward fold was less than impressive. Up until today, the handstands I’ve been working on for what seems like forever have always required at least a toe on the wall to make it happen. Not only did I find success but found it about eight times!

Every time I felt my jaw clench or my muscles overly tighten, I reminded myself of my mantra, Stop being a control freak. Stop trying to control this practice, let go and see what happens.

My body demonstrated the lessons I’ve heard over and over right before my eyes. Such as, “a flower doesn’t try to bloom, it just blooms.” Demanding that a flower control when it blooms is ridiculous and unnatural. Additionally, that a rigid mind results in rigid fascial tissue, thus limited mobility.

Isn’t it funny how an intention can be a game changer? Who would have thought 50 Shades would get me to another level in yoga? After years of handstanding and forward folding, then poof- there it is.

While the seeds are continuously planted, sometimes we just hit the perfect moment to truly experience the blossom. Or in this case, we let go to experience the blossom.

Probably in Ana’s case as well 😉 

 

*Sex that is ALWAYS encompassed with consent of both partners, trust, safety, and respect of each other’s boundaries.

**While this film has been surrounded by debate, I’m sharing how it unlocked a “lesson” in my yoga journey and not any personal opinion on the nature of the film.